Loving someone is easy, but loving someone for 3 years is kinda hard. Not many can be that faithful. Emotion gets all worked up when she talks to other guys.
Is that being jealous?

I still remember when we were still Secondary 1. Thanks to the person I was wooing at that time, I knew her. In every way, she caught my attention. She is so lovely, with the smile she gives. It warms my heart, body, mind and soul. There was once I saw her at parkway, she was with her friends. I didn't dare to say hi, as she pays more attention to her friends.

When I reached home, She messaged me on MSN. She asked me if I had been to parkway. I was so glad that I had her attention there. And finally, I asked for her handphone contact number. Without a second thought, she gave it to me. That night I messaged her till 6AM in the morning. We both always have topics for each other even though she's not english-educated. She speaks more mandarin at home than english.

After a few months, she stopped talking to me. I felt as if something was missing in my life. A kind of lost meaning. From the onwards, I did everything to have her attention again. There is no way I'm letting her go. Soon, I had her attention again. But she knew some other guys from NCC camp. It made me upset again, and I guess I was feeling jealous. She knew I like her and she told me she had a good impression on me.

This year, on her birthday, I bought her a present. I didn't know her well enough to pass it to her. She received lots of presents from many of her friends, including guys. Everything doesn't turn out the way I want, it never does! Is this fair? Maybe I'm just too shy, but that's just me.

COLIN at 1:15 PM | Fading soul

Those bright lights shine no more, I live with a dark shadow overhead